Date: Thu, 02 Jul 1998 00:26:50 -0600
From: Philip Wylie <pjwylie@planet.eon.net>
To: baidarka@lists.intelenet.net
Subject: Re: [baidarka] Humour Regarding Hull ID numbers for US Coast Guard
I can't resist having fun with this when it involves two branches
of Government. Classic yet so typical of Government (with the
right hand of bureacracy not knowing what the left is up to).
Anyway for the sake of a little fun with this one I picked up the other
day. Enjoy!
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT
The heaviest element known to science was
recently discovered by university physicists. The
element,tentatively named "Administratium", had no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of
0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons,
70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant vice neutrons.
This gives it an atomic mass of 247. These 247
particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that
involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
called "morons".
Since it has no electrons, Administratium
is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it
impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.
According to discoverers, a minute amount of
Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over
four days to complete.
Without the Administratium, the reaction occurs in less
than one second. Administratium has a half life of
approximately three years, at which time it does not actually
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant
neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
places.
Studies seem to show that the atomic weight
actually increases after each reorganization.
Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in
the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in
certain locations such as government agencies, large
corporations, and especially in universities. It can usually
be found polluting the best appointed and best
maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratium is
known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can
easily destroy any positive reactions where it is allowed to
accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage,
but results to date are not promising. %^)
Cheers,
Philip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wynne Eden wrote:
> Anyway..called the CG safe boating line again, they send me to the
> Compliance office who says "thanks for being so conscientious, we'll take
> care of the state's misunderstanding and get back with you by week's end."
> Huh. Now the GA DNR's mad at me for going over their heads, but, DUH, it's
> in black and white.
>
> Point of the story is, if you travel in the jurisdiction of the US Coast
> Guard, you must get a Hull Identification Number from your state. Make
> sure they understand that you don't want a registration, just a Hull ID#.
> The info comes from several CG publications, most clearly in "A Consumer's
> Guide to the Coast Guard Boating Safety Standards" Fact Sheet #14, March 1993: